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 Post subject: Weapons Grade Dumbasses
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:37 pm 
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Oh silly ESPN, you never fail to astound. Over on their flagship ‘Mike & Mike’ show a few days ago, ESPN’s in-house soccer analyst Alexi Lalas was invited on to run the rule over Euro 2012 – only to be asked just how he thought Lionel Messi was set to fair at the European Championships this summer…

Click The Link...http://espn.go.com/espnradio/play?id=8011274

Listen on the ESPN player (skip to 1:00 mark).

To be fair, Lalas tip-toes round the question admirably despite being faced with dangerously large quantities of weapons-grade dumbass.

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 Post subject: Re: Weapons Grade Dumbasses
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:04 pm 
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Anyone who's ever seen the Press Pass show they do will make you wonder why they employ the clown that is Tommy Smyth.


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 Post subject: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:33 pm 
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The Sun's Charlie Wyett reports this morning that England 'suffered a double attack from the French last night.'

This 'double attack from the French' consisted of two pieces of criticism from Laurent Blanc and Arsene Wenger.

Blanc suggested that Rio Ferdinand's omission from the England squad was not 'a decision based on sport', which you could argue doesn't exactly constitute an attack, but we're so bored of that subject we can't be bothered.

Instead, we'll simply present the 'attack' from Wenger:

"The opening game is England v France and there is no Rooney. You would say that is a game England cannot afford to lose."

Sound the sirens, bring up the drawbridge, hammer large pieces of crooked wood over the windows - PANIC EVERYONE - THE FRENCH ARE COMING!

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:33 pm 
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The Daily Mirror announce a new signing today, and it's Kenny Dalglish.

In his debut column for the paper, Kenneth writes that Wayne Rooney will be a big man for England, should their campaign still be alive by the time he's allowed to play again.

He writes: 'I still remember the way Wayne Rooney tore William Gallas apart in England's game against France at Euro 2004.'

Fair enough. Not particularly exciting or different analysis, but you can't argue with that logic.

However, the next paragraph reads: 'People are saying he hasn't performed at a tournament since then, but forget that. It's irrelevant.'

So, his good performances at a tournament eight years ago are evidence that he'll be brilliant this time, but his rubbish ones in the two others he's played in since then are 'irrelevant'?

OK...

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:31 pm 
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The Spain v Italy game on Sunday.

It started slowly for sure, but turned into an interesting tussle between two teams operating with slightly unfamiliar formations. It offered further proof that Spain are perhaps easier to contain than ever, and their lack of a substantial Plan B might be worrying for them. The substitutions by both Cesare Prandelli and Vicente del Bosque were interesting, with Antonio Di Natale scoring with one of his first significant involvements.

So many talking points, and perhaps an opportunity to get away from the petty squabbles and tedious themes of the English domestic season.

So how do The Daily Mail headline their match report? 'Torres having a Euro crisis all of his own.'

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:33 pm 
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The Sun's latest heeeeelarious stunt?

They apparently projected a St George's cross onto the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe in Paris. Sigh. One can only imagine they would've taken it in just the same chucklesome manner had a tricolour been projected onto say, the Cenotaph, or the Houses of Parliament.

Of course, we don't wish to suffer from a sense of humour failure (although for that we assume something has to actually be funny), but just over the page is a warning from a police operations chap about fan violence at Euro 2012.

Call us airy-fairy ninnies, but apparently The Sun do not see the correlation between attempting to whip up a nationalistic fervour among...shall we say 'impressionable' young Englishmen, and things getting a little punchy in the event of booze and an England defeat.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Surely both teams highlighted the fact that they've definitely got a plan B.

Di Natele and Giorvinco offered a much more obvious threat than Cassano & Balotelli did much busier in terms of movement and speed than the 2 who started the game.

Spain also when Torres came on exploited a defence who were visable tired physically and probably mentally from having to watch runners from deep for 70 minutes. He could and probably should have won the game for them with 1 of his 2 chances.

I thought that was a really entertaining game people need to understand that Spain weren't playing with 0 strikers they were effectively playing 4-2-4. Xabi Alonso & Busquets sit and hold then the other 4 are free to do whatever they want to try and open up a defence.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:39 pm 
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... Euros.html

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:54 pm 
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Resurrection Joe wrote:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4365562/Show-em-no-merci-We-beam-England-flag-on-Paris-icons-the-Eiffel-Tower-and-Arc-de-Triomphe-ahead-of-France-v-England-at-the-Euros.html


:doh:

No wonder we're so popular.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:52 pm 
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The Sun wrote:
Bust ... armed French cops threaten us with arrest


Bloody idiots. :rolleyes:

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:05 pm 
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Writes Steven Howard in The Sun:

'But it was still a patched-up, ragtag and bobtail army that Hodgson had to send out to ensure he didn't get off to the worst possible start in his first competitive match as England boss.'

A ragtag and bobtail army, eh? England's starting XI against France contained three Champions League winners (two from this season), seven Premier League winners (three from this season) and a strike partnership that plays for Manchester United. The others were Scott Parker, the 2010/11 FWA player of the year, and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, for whom Arsenal paid £12million when he was 17.

A conservative estimate of the collective transfer value of those players would be somewhere around £100million.

So let's not pretend this is Wimbledon in 1988, eh chaps?

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:08 pm 
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Writes Rob Beasley in The Sun this morning:

'I WONDER what Rio Ferdinand made of it all, don't you? As an England fan I'm sure he will have been pleased just like the rest of us. But as a Roy Hodgson outcast maybe he wasn't so chuffed.

'Think about it. Joleon Lescott scores our goal and John Terry is the rock of England's defence - again! A couple of powerful football reasons for having brought them along, you might say.

'So maybe, just maybe, we can now finally put an end to the great Rio debate.'

Quite so. You know what else could put an end to 'the great Rio debate'? BY NOT F**KING WRITING ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY IN A NATIONAL NEWSPAPER.

Cheers.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:13 pm 
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Just had a flick through someone at works copy of the Sun.

Ian Wright: "Why must we be so negative?"

Well Ian because being so f*cking negative with a team we've put together that the last minute due to injury/suspension to key players got us a draw against a team who haven't lost in 2 years and played us off the park 12 months ago when we played them at Wembley.

Basically I like that you care about England but just f*ck off and grow a brain England can't play like Spain or France because none of the premiership sides who have English players play this way. This lot couldn't pass it in 2006 what makes you think they can do it now let them try and battle there way through and win as we aint gonna do it playing pretty football.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:46 pm 
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Hats off to Adrian Chiles, who on ITV described the horror that Jakub Blaszczykowski faced as a young child, when his father murdered his mother.

"He's bounced back from that," commented Chiles.

Good lord. Bounced back? It's not a stubbed toe or a draw when you expected a win, Adrian. Eesh.

No word yet on whether the tragedy caused Kuba to drive to Dundee barefoot and get addicted to Toblerones.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:11 am 
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UEFA have fined Denmark striker Nicklas Bendtner £80,000 — for flashing his pants against Portugal.

The Arsenal hitman has also been banned for one match after showing off a logo for bookmakers Paddy Power during Wednesday's game in Kharkiv.

But UEFA's fine is more than TREBLE the figure dished out to the Russian FA following crowd trouble during their match with Poland.

European football's governing body fined Russia £24,000 for the setting off and throwing of fireworks by supporters.

Other fans also displayed offensive banners and one even ran onto the pitch in Warsaw.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:59 pm 
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A slow handclap for the bods at the Daily Express website who illustrated their Olivier Giroud story with a picture of a French international. Unfortunately, the French international they chose was Marvin Martin.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:47 pm 
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The travelling diary of Nick Parker, chief foreign correspondent of The Sun continues this morning.

Once again eschewing piffling events around the globe like Julian Assange knocking on the Ecuadorian embassy's door asking to be let in, or trying to work out if Hosni Mubarak is dead or just resting, Parker is in Donetsk and boy, does he provide value for money.

He reports: 'England hero Wayne Rooney got a huge cheer from his two-year old son Kai last night after scoring the goal that knocked the stuffing out of Ukraine.'

He then goes on to fill page four of the most popular newspaper in the country with a news story based entirely on a couple of tweets from Coleen Rooney, in which she - get this - expressed her delight that her husband had scored a crucial goal for England.

Well holy sh*t. Foreign affairs' loss is our gain, clearly.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:49 pm 
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Interesting that several newspapers have got themselves into something of a tizz about Nicklas Bendtner, his pants and a betting company.

Charles Sale in The Daily Mail brands said betting company 'shameless self-publicists' for paying Nicky B's knicker fine, also complaining that they have shopped their grundies around to the agents of several other players at the tournament.

The Daily Mirror takes a similar stand, with Darren Lewis writing:

'The publicity-seeking bookmaking firm that encouraged the stunt, however, has pledged to pay Bendtner's fine having succeeded with their 'ambush marketing' plan.'

Of course, by repeatedly mentioning the name of said betting firm (and, in the case of the Mirror, including a picture of the offending undercrackers), the papers are merrily doing the work of the betting company. They are helping these shameless publicity-seekers find...erm...well, publicity.

Why not just ignore them, eh?

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:51 pm 
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Writes Ian Wright in The Sun:

'I've had weeks and weeks of people coming up and telling me we would be on the first plane home and wouldn't even make it through the group. Where are those people now? They are all skulking in the woodwork...'

We would write in to correct him on his idioms and improve his writing, but that train has probably sailed.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Managers, Players & Journalists Are Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:56 pm 
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Yeah we've played the French, Swedes & Ukraine off the park Ian just like you predicted.

It really concerns me that someone like Ian Wright has a podium where he gets to influence millions of peoples opinions on English football. We've got lucky so far and if Chelsea proved one thing last season a bit of luck can go a long way


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